I don't let you in
Cause if I do
You'll stop caring
If I fake timidity
Then maybe
You'll think of me as fragile
Then you'll hold me
Funny story:
People hug me a lot more
when they first get to know me
Then for some reason
I become not worth the hugs
I'm left unhinged
Why.
Maybe next time
I should just pretend to not be me
Then maybe you'll love me
Ugh.
I am obsessively writing
Maybe nothing makes sense
But my hands are moving
And that's something
I should be sleeping
But how can a helpless one not be sleepless
I feel like punishing myself
By staying up the whole night and studying
But I'm too tired for self-abuse
I'll just do verbal abuse tonight
This feels so psychotic
But no one really cares
I'm just me.
Alone
Not huggable.
Good night.
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