Three Ropes

Three ropes
They pull me

One, to love God alone
To deny the need for man
To be fully sufficient in Him

Two, to love God and man
To love them both
But to always look on God
I am His secret.

Three, to love man alone
And I know this is not the one
But I am tempted to throw myself
Into the endless pursuit of approval
With deathly pangs of unfulfilling satisfaction.

Pull, push
Sea of my heart
I want to love
And to be loved
To be accepted and to know.

I am torn
I need approval
I am tired
Of the strife
To be satisfied in God alone
To hug the invisible.
And pledge my allegiance to Him.

And I don't even fully know what that means.

Does that mean
He is the highest floor
Of the building of my life

Or does that mean
He's my only tower
Where He and I dwell alone.

Or do I have it wrong altogether?