To want to

If I was proven guilty
If I was hard-hearted
If I was tainted and wounded
Would You still love me?

In my weakness
I know You love me
But in my immaturity
And in my selfishness
And in my callousness
Do You still love me

You knock and I answer
But what will I find in Your eyes
Will they be disgusted
By my self-inflicted bruises
Or will they show mercy
To this undeserving one.

Do you hold me kicking and screaming
Or are we at peace?
Do you kiss me grudgingly
Or with gentle ease?

I know that You love me
But what does that really mean?
Do You pat my head responsibly
Or do You draw me in and engulf me?

It's one thing to do
It's another to want to do

Are You responsible for me
Or are You jealous for me?