I just thought you should know

I just thought you should know
That my mind is so tight with the thought of you
That I'm crying myself to sleep
because I don't understand you

I just thought you should know
that I'm trying, I really am
To be a person that's worthy
to not have everyone hate me
I thought you cared

And now I am literally
typing with my eyes closed because I want to cry and write at the same time
and I hear you
even when you don't speak
i hear phantom voices
echoes
they perpetuate the lull of loneliness
i am writing angsty poetry
and I know none of it will
be good enough for you

because to you
I am boring
ever smiling
a lump
a sore thumb

there
but not quite

and i hear you laughing
and i do not,
will not
take it badly
you must live your life

But I just thought you should know
that I tried and I
am trying