Tempted (Must I?)

Tempted to just die
To fling it all away
Tempted to just cry
To put it all to waste

But where will I hide
I'm running ahead
Will I find Your loving arms
Or a sword poised to stab?

Tempted to just die
To fling it all away
Tempted to just cry
To put it all to waste

Even that hole seems inviting
Compared to this disorientating plateau
I won't cry
I won't hide
Please materialize.

I've seen a glimpse
And I can't get it off my mind
I've seen hope
And I'll see it again.

The mist cleared a little
Then it came back
With threat of rain
I want to cower and hide

Won't You enter my pain?
Won't You render the veil?

Must I run alone?
Must I run with bare feet?
Must I run with my face looking down?
Must I run through the wilderness
without You to carry me?

Kicking and screaming
Putting wild Nebuchadnezzar to shame
I don't want to go there
Save me please.

Am I looking the wrong way?
The darkness tried to engulf me
But my bones aren't willing to die
They've been alive
And they won't settle for anything less.

I was alive and blind
But alive nevertheless
But now I'm being pushed down

He pulls me near to open my eyes
He pulls me near
He cleans my wounds
He shelters me
My Shepherd and my King.

Beat Down (I won't)

Pound by pound
Tonne by tonne
I feel weighed down

Get up for a while
Feel the air caress your skin
Run a few miles
But I still feel beat down

ABC
Every one of my sins

123
Do You hate me?

I won't give up
I won't back down
But I am weak.

Sea

Deep, blue sea
With your waves and breakers
Waves diffract, waves crash
A miracle of white and blue
Green creeps into their harmony
You are a fantasy materialized
You are a soul in hiding.

Push, pull
The constant struggle
You dance so emotionally

The sun hits your surface
And I'm enticed
Though I may die
I want to dive
I've never felt this way before.

You're married to the wind
And You dance together
You laugh at humans that come to gaze

God made you beautiful
He made you a mirror
of the human soul
Dancing forever
In secrets untold.

To want to

If I was proven guilty
If I was hard-hearted
If I was tainted and wounded
Would You still love me?

In my weakness
I know You love me
But in my immaturity
And in my selfishness
And in my callousness
Do You still love me

You knock and I answer
But what will I find in Your eyes
Will they be disgusted
By my self-inflicted bruises
Or will they show mercy
To this undeserving one.

Do you hold me kicking and screaming
Or are we at peace?
Do you kiss me grudgingly
Or with gentle ease?

I know that You love me
But what does that really mean?
Do You pat my head responsibly
Or do You draw me in and engulf me?

It's one thing to do
It's another to want to do

Are You responsible for me
Or are You jealous for me?

Human Emotion

Human emotion
A complication of corruption
Mingled with noble intention
And a side of misplaced expectation.

I won't pretend to understand
These emotions strand by strand
All I can see is a heap
of chaotic monotony.

Make Me A Beautiful Tapestry

The threads of my life are entangled
Each entwined in disarray
I need You to make it Your masterpiece
A beautiful tapestry of unbeautiful threads.

Each thread a different colour
Each note a different emotion
Make me a tapestry
Make Yourself a gift.

Strand by strand
thread by thread
Pull me apart and kill me
Then weave me back
And stitch me up
And make me a beautiful tapestry.

Strand by strand
Thread by thread
Cut me open and fix me.
Then weave me back
And stitch me up
And make me a beautiful tapestry.

Free Fall

The worst isn't rock bottom,
It's when you're hanging over it
It's easier to fall
Than to be scared to.

I'm waiting for the free fall
Cause Your loving arms will catch me

And then I'll get back up again.

It was never their role
To let me fall
But it's time now
For the free fall.

But it's got to be into Your arms
And then I'll be strong again.